Seven people, seven personalities, all in one place, with some strange idea that we will live together in this wonderfully harmonious enviroment! Well okay, it was a thought, even if it wasn't a realistic thought.
Want to know all about different tastes in music, sports, foods, movies, you name it and we can quickly give you seven different opinions, and seven different reasons for each opinon. Though one may briefly tolerate someone elses likes, it should never be mistaken as being in agreement. Somehow it seems like I am the one tossed into the food processor of our united lives the most often. I wonder at times is it because I am the mom? It seems that without fail we will get into my car and the button to change the radio station of my choice is immediately the first thing touched and music that isn't my choice is then blaring at me. Okay, so you say well teenagers tend to like different music and tend to think they are in charge of our musical entertainment for car rides. I disagree with this, and feel people riding in my car with me should listen to whatever music I happen to choose playing. However as we have blended families and personalities, it is not just the teens who make it the choice to do this, but my husband as well will change the dial to suit his tastes. Most of the time I just endure, but if we have the kids with us, it then proceeds to be a battle of wills. Step father versus kids, both sides insisting on getting in the last word, both sides equally determined to win, and where does that leave me? Stuck in the middle, caught between the man I married and the kids that I inherited sole custody of when their father died. Not a good place to be. I'd rather have a side than be caught in the middle, ah yes there goes the chopping blade yet once again. Score at end is a tie for zero, but mom is now fried.
Another are of aggravation.......Dishes! Dishes are a neverending cause of stress and strife in our household. We seem to have a never ending supply that need to be washed or loaded into the dishwasher. If I didn't live in this house with all these people I love, I would never have believed that dishes can be the battleground for a major war. However they are! It doesn't seem to matter that when I leave the house there are no dishes to be dealt with, nor does it make any difference if I am gone for a long time or a short time, the dishes seem to jump out of the cabinets all by themself at times, but I will none the less come home to a massive supply of dishes needing to be washed or loaded into said dishwasher. Uh oh, in come children and step dad...put your gloves on battle begins. Now my offspring have a stubborn streak, and if you ask them to do something in a way that they get the impression they have a choice ( notice I say impression, because really they have no choice), they will usually, not always, but usually somehow see it your way and do what it is you want. Mission accompolished..mom-1 kids-0. But, like I said they are stubborn and if you come out into the ring telling and heaven forbid making it appear demanding they do, well there again..WAR has begun. And again I am tossed into the food processor, caught between enemy lines, and anything I say is going to be against one side or the other, so I am again in a no win scenario.
Then we have the chair episode. I bought a wicker chair at a yard sale and my first words that day are probably the only words I have ever spoken that seem to have been commited to the memory of others. I told everyone that day to stay out of my chair, as I did not want it torn up from horsing around like so many of my belongings tend to be. Well recently that chair has been a huge issue! In comes the seven year old, leaning on the chair daily to look out the window and see if his friend is outside. Second enters the grown-up with the demand he get off his mamas chair, thus the lines are drawn, and the battle begins, and mom is again tossed into the food processor. This particualr chair has become such a topic of disagreement that I myself am ready to destroy it, just so I don't have to hear near daily battles over it. And again when I open my mouth, I am in a no win situation over my own stupid chair, that I have learned to regret ever having bought!
These are just a couple of the daily issues we have in our blended household, and they are just tiny parts of the reasons why I often wonder, just why exactly we thought this was such a brilliant idea.
My days are spent trying to keep peace, fairness, objectiveness, hope, love, and every other kind of good emotion strong and stable in my life. Yet many days I find myself sticking to the eggshells I find myself walking on, pushing back deep inside me the things I believe in to suit others and keep peace, and what happens in the process, is I get chopped up living in the food processor to the point sometimes I am not even sure who I am anymore.
Now we all know teenagers have this tremendous power in which they can push a parents buttons and create so much chaos that you'd give almost anything to jump into a food processor just to get away from the noise and drama. Being the " parent" doesn't work, I know I have tried. However if you are lucky enough to be the step parent in the situation it works wonderfully. I have seen this first hand, my husband has an incredible talent in being able to become the invisible person. If the teens in particular are giving me a difficult time, he has the uncanny ability to just walk right by, completely deaf to the noise around him, totally blind to their existence or mine and can just tune out the fact that he cohabitates with any of us at all. My kids are very tuned into this, and as most kids will do, they see this as an advantage on their part. I have learned how to do the same thing in regards to issues with his kids as well, and if there is one thing he and I should agree on, ignorance is truly bliss as they say. If we just stay out of the other factors of each others lives, all kids are happy.
So as we endure our daily struggles to live in harmony, and blend the seven personalities in the same house, we also must blend the remaining personalities that are part of the unit, though they don't live in the same house. However we continue to hope for a balance to miraculously make itself visible to all, and our intent is to try and stick it out long enough to finally one day become somewhat blended happily all the way around.
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